Poetry and Songs. Work in Progress.... keep checking back!

If you have any questions about any of my poems, just ask! =O) BTW: All poems are copyright ME!
Also, I would appreciate if you wouldn't say anything bad about these. Most came from my personal experiences and mean a lot to me, and I chose to share them with you, so please be respectful.

I'm like the only rose in a world of thistles,
Or maybe it's the other way around.
I'm like the only person who cares about other's feelings,
Or maybe the only one who no one cares about.
And it's hell, or just heaven upside-down.
Like watching normal TV with 3-D glass on.
It's writing a hundred thousand songs, never saying a word.
It's blinking when a shooting star goes by.
I'm like the only one who listens,
Or maybe I'm just deaf.
Spinning around in circles while everyone stands still.
Wearing new white shoes the day that it rains,
Remembering the words to say one day too late.

Hit between the eyes with reality, and reality bites
And it stings like the flames of a thousand lost souls
And we cry
But tears are drowned out by the screams of the martyr that died
And we try
To forget all the sorrow that we feel
Burn away the memory of the buildings that fell
Try to return to the life we once knew
And we scream for the blood of the men who act on their faith
And we act on the faith that we'll live
We pretend that we're whole again and turn away
Attempting to remember what we were like before
And what we were
And what we were is forever changed.
---In memory of 9/11

Peace amidst a raging sea
Climb to the top and see the world
Every angle a new thought
A new image
A new life
Even in the shadows there is color
And beauty
Majestic shades and fiery life
No words
Just complete

When all but you are lucky enough to find sleep
But sleep eludes you
Like the shadows elude the sun
Barely awake, yet so far from dreams
Those crystalline dreams that are so beautiful
Would take hell over this nightmare
Stillness and quiet are everywhere
Even in the disturbed
Praying to find rest amidst chaos
And there is chaos, even in the quiet hours
For it is within you...
And you within it
Reaching to pluck your sleeping self from your dreams
And missing
Is this a curse?
Or a blessing?
To see what mortals only dream of
While they sleep, and you watch
You see the faerie circles and a dragon's storm dance
For you can see anything in your mind's eye
And have what you want
And hear what you need
When all but you are lucky enough to find sleep
Or are they the unlucky ones?

Lying awake
A glossy coat over reality
The moon shines in
And beckons to me
He calls my dreams to him
And keeps them for himself
Leaving me awake and alone
Until my imagination takes over
And I fly
The dragons welcome me with a mighty roar
And I dance among the elves
And I am beautiful and crystalline
Until I open my eyes
And find my dreams have been taken from me again

How many times will we accept it?
How many times will we allow our dreams to be ripped from us,
And hung just out of our reach,
While those who would destroy us laugh at our despair?
How many shattered dreams before our soul breaks?
Before our spirit cries?
Before a savior comes?
We are tattered and torn
And yet we limp along
One hand over our heart
The other reaching weakly for the dream
The dream that never seems to get closer
We put ourselves through hell
And we barely notice
For our eyes are on the dream
We watch those others drop away
Until we are left alone
For to pursue your dreams is a lonely course
They can help you with the first 99 steps
But in the end, you must take the final step alone
It is hard, and tears fall often
But in the end, when you reach your dream
And touch that glittering thing
You can look back and see
Your tears have made a lake of gold

Fallen
Consumed by weakness
Drowned in my tears
Why bother?
Anger is futile
Left alone
Disillusioned
Life is unfair
And apathetic
Ignorant to your feelings
Burning in your heart
And your soul cries
It cries
But so few hear
Laugh with the rest
Ignore the seering pain inside
Don't cry
Things will look up
Or will they?
Tired
Tired of being pushed aside
Empty pages filled with red words
Scribbled hastily across my heart
Without care
Without feeling
Blood red and bleeding
Face turned up
Heart cast down
And trampled on
Broken
Wasted
Consumed...

Downward spiral, Lost and alone
Does anyone care? Is anyone out there?
Why do I feel like this?
Nothing helps, Environment destroys
Close my eyes, Breathe deep
Try not to cry... but fail
Spiraling out of control
Tattered wings
I've fallen, And no one caught me
Incapable of flying any longer
Broken wings, Broken heart
Curled on the ground, Weeping
Flames around me, Flames within
Burning away my dreams
And my life
Utter despair, Tattered wings
Will they ever heal?

Talking all around me, Many voices
Blending into one unintelligible noise
My ears pick out a few words
But never my name, Or a word of praise
I am the thorn that is cut from the rose and cast away
I am the bud that is pinched off before it can grow
Do they see my tears?
No, for the waterfall is deep inside
and its reflection is in my eyes
But they do not look in my eyes and see my heart
They pass by, too quickly to see my sorrow
Invisible, alone, unnoticed
My screaming is too faint to be heard...
Unless you listen

If my house should fall down today
I'm not gonna cry today
There's too much good to cry today
The rain won't get me down today
You might think I'm mighty mighty strange
Might go so far to that I'm even crazy
But I just look all around me
And see the flowers that the storm will bring
So don't try to get me down today
It will not work anyway
Rose-tinted glasses off my face
Still I see roses every place.

Laughing hysterically
This is not ecstacy
This is insanity
Such a fine line between sanity and insanity
I crossed it without realizing
Look at all the pretty colors
And that black film over them
Long gone, flying away
More like crashing

Scattered, Afflicted, Scared
This is the end of a beautiful relationship...
With my sanity
Chills all over
But bundled against the cold
Not really
More like bundled to welcome it
I'm kind of tired
But the night is young
At 3 in the morning
Mud
And I'm laughing again
And scaring away my friends
But I feel no real remorse
It's all a jumble anyway
That's where scattered comes back into play...

These next five poems were written while I was in Spain on a mission trip with my youth group.

Rising before dawn
To greet the light with sleepy eyes
Deep breathing tells me the rest are dreaming
But I am awake
Praying for sleep to come again
Yet I am grateful
For I hear the birds awaken
And welcome the sun
If only I could capture their song
And sing it
Perhaps then
And only then
I could welcome the sun
Gladly

Burst forth into song
like a phoenix from the flames
Rise and sing
Beautiful morning
Too much to write
To put in words
No sorrow here
Don't pity
Don't cry
Accept
And enjoy

Busy city
Vespas roar
Birds sing
People shout
Music
Blue sky
Unmarred
Peaceful
Content
Mi casa
My home
Lonely flute over the rest
Rising over other noises
Joined with bells from the church
And voices sing
Peaceful
Content
Mi casa
My home

Walking through lemon meringue streets
Under a fiery red sky
At midnight
Passing by brown chocolate figures
And shadowy wraiths
Peeking from dark corners
With glowing green eyes
Lemon meringue streets
Lit by flames in the sky

Hard to be grateful
When the sun hasn't risen
But I have
Earth sighing
Breathing with me
Rocking the rest to sleep
But this babe won't dream
God calling
Moving through me
"Embrace the morning"
He says
"I created it...
For you"

Okay, I wasn't as depressed as you'd think I would be writing this poem, it just came out.

Oh God, how it hurts
This sorrow inside
Oh God, please take it away
These tears have fallen too long
But I can't wash this blood from my hands
"Sweet sorrow" doesn't exist
For the pain that's within me taints my soul
And it's an unending burn
And I can't wash this blood from my hands
Ears are filled with the screams
How can this be a holy war?
Forget the stories that you heard
For I can't wash this blood from my hands
---The Soldier

I wrote these next few poems while on vacations in Yellowstone National Park

Rushing river
Washing away my pain
Beautiful blues and greens
Through clouded eyes
Yellow rock
Rising above me
Making me feel so small
Fallen trees
Like my spirit
White sand
Blinding and pure
Can I fly?
Can I fly into this river
And be washed away
Like so many tears?
Nothing but the sound
Of water passing by
Without a second glance
To the maker of the tears
That touch its perfect waters
Rolling hills
Cut into by a cruel world
The sun beats down
Making a shadow of my hand
That writes
So far to fly
But my heart can't soar
Too far in this broken body
Deep within
Glorious creation
I want to breathe
Breathe in the sounds
And the smells
And the life

Oh God
How beautiful
A fallen tree makes a bride
To an unknown land
The mighty river
It's song is beautiful
Rushing by immoveable rocks
Mighty towrads
Even in the stone
Life grows
Faint smell of sulfur
A single purple flower
On the edge of a cliff
I wish I could join them
Be among the beauty forever
But mortals cannot bear it
So we hardly bear our suffering
But I am far from that
I am where purple flowers grow
Grow in the midst of yellow rocks
Poor withered tree
Be glad your family grows
Life is beautiful
Here

Mighty mountain
Jutting from the earth
Piercing the sky
Touching the clouds
Faces on the hills
Messages in the trees
No rolling hills here
Just sharp beauty
And striking power

Exhaustion hit me like a hammer
For I couldn't sleep
Lying awake
And wishing
Little flickers of silver
In the corner of my eye
Tell me the faeries are here
And wait for me to dream
So they can carouse
And dance on my desk
With the stuffed dragons
That come to life
When my eyes are closed
Oh, to join them
To dance...
I dance
For I dream
When the silver faeries touch my eyes

Before you go
Would you kiss me?
Let me taste your sweet lips?
And lay in your arms?
One last time
Before you go away
Breathe in your scent?
And live for just a moment longer?
I know you must leave me
And my tears touch your soft skin
The flesh is cold
When you are away
So before you go
Would you kiss me?

The shower head is my microphone
And the water my dress
The shampoo bottles are my audience
So I sing for them
Loud as I want
My voice, it echoes
Against the tile that is my stage
But when I turn off the water
My mic becomes a rusted faucet
And my cheering fans soapy bottles
I wrap myself in a towel
And smile
Tomorrow
I have an encore

I wish I was the yellow rose
Oh, how beautiful
I'm different from everyone else
Does that make me wrong?
Or a different kind of perfect?
I stand out
Couldn't that be a good thing?
Why am I thought of last?
Why don't I mean more?
I wish I was the yellow rose

I feel slightly discarded
Just a little forgotten
Unhappy
For a reason
The sun beats down
And burns me
But I've been burned before
So what does it matter?
Because it still hurts
To be burned
And forgotten
And discarded

Today was supposed to be a good day
But things went horribly wrong
White clashes with white
As it clashes with pain
Today I was supposed to be beautiful
But tears have made my make-up run
And I've been poisoned by the little eyes that weep
Dark words and a harsh wind
Expected
But still utterly painful
Today was supposed to be good
F*ck that idea

I'm feeling a little...
Something
That I can't fully explain
It's kind of strange
And could be funny
If I wasn't quite so down
I'm not really angry
Or even sad
It's just a little...
Something
Inside

I hate it
Don't ask what
If you won't stay to hear the answer
Don't take my side
Or try to defend me
Because it will be half-ass
What does it matter...
Anyway
I'm tired
Or having invisible hands
And speaking silent words
Except those that hurt
I hate it

Piles of kleenexes
Don't mean a thing
You don't care
If my mascara has run
If my eyes are red
You are my oxygen
The reason I live
I don't understand
Because I'm a wreck
And you just laugh
And kiss me
You don't notice
When my curls are gone
Or my room's a mess
You don't give a damn
That I suck at driving
That I keep you up all night
None of this matters
Not to you
Because I'm your perfect mess 

What do you do when you can't sleep?
You wonder where the cool breeze comes from
You listen
Listen to the sounds of your own breathing
You count to four
And exhale
Breathing in again the smell of your lover
And wishing
Wishing the bed didn't creak when you move
When every light is intrusive
You peek under the bed
When you remember old stories
And laugh at your fears
Upstairs
They still stir
Dare you join them?
Will they wear you down?
Or stir you further 
Every shape has potential
To frighten   
Who's there?!    
Only a shadow   
Damn ghost stories   
Silly mind tricks                   
What do you do when you can't sleep?
You write

I forgot how to fly
Please help me
I'm falling so fast
So hard
Where have my wings gone?
Why aren't you here to hold my hand
Hold me up
I need you
I was flying
Now I have been dropped
Falling
Yellow doesn't help anymore
Want to be held
Lonely
Need something
Anything
Where are my wings?
Lost
Confused
Will you be my wings?
I ache
I cry
Don't let me die